I had my first interview at a staffing agency.
I wore the nicest pants in my closet (which also happened to be the newest pants in my closet) and slung my most presentable purse, the one with the taped strap, across my collarbone. My bangs were not born to be business-y, but you best believe I tried to teach them to behave like they were. Fueled by the confidence of three cups of coffee and a layer of nude lipstick, I locked the door to my apartment behind me to hopefully open some opportunity in the city of Austin that was ahead of me.
What is it about boxes that feels restricting? Because I sat in a white one for 40 minutes and answered questions that I kept circling around.
I don't know what industry I prefer. Or how much salary would make sense. Or the title I'm looking for. I don't know what I want in this box.
The paradox of it all is that I want to be in a box. I just don't think I fit in one.
I don't think there is a box I belong in.
Not because I'm special or exceptional, but because I'm not. I am salt and pepper average. A stick of butter.
A discouraged stick of butter.
I've been reading Joshua 1:9 every morning because every morning I find something I missed the morning before, and this morning, I realized I didn't know the definition of the word "discouraged". And I wanted to figure it out because it's something that God tells us not to be.
If you Google it, it'll tell you something about losing confidence, but if you break up the word you find something different.
The prefix “dis” means apart.
The word “courage” means heart.
God doesn't want you to be apart from your heart.
Be courageous.
The suffix “ous” means full of.
God wants you to “be full of heart”.
Take heart.
Have heart.
I might not know how to fit in a box but I can start getting closer to my heart.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
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