This sounds so strange for me to say, but I feel so beautiful here. ⋆
New York City in May at the Brooklyn Bridge—on my half birthday actually. I didn't think about that then though. I honestly didn't think about anything other than, “I am existing in real life in the city I have always dreamed about!!!!”
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When I was editing these particular moments and didn't cringe at my appearance, I realized for the first time in forever I actually thought, and maybe even believed, I looked beautiful.
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In these clips I didn’t see the camera, so I wasn't conscious of myself. Most of us (I'm raising my hand aggressively) tend to lose confidence as soon as one is pulled out, but I didn't this time because, well lol, I didn't see it. And I know I didn't because when I was putting the vlog together I didn't recognize this footage at all. In fact, I barely recognized the girl in them either.
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That being said, it helped that I wasn’t looking at the lens; instead, I was looking at my friend. When I look in the mirror, I don't know how that face feels about me. But when I look at Ellie's, I know. And I don't have to fix anything about me when I do.
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I don't really know why I'm sharing all this to be honest (ajskfdla I'm so sorry)! But I guess I'll just ask you this: Where's your NYC at the Brooklyn Bridge on your half birthday that makes you forget about your flaws? Who's the Ellie you can keep your eyes on?
You are the most beautiful here.
Not in front of a mirror.
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(p.s. But also in front of a mirror too, you just might not believe me if I told you then !!)
Molly,
This is beautiful. Beauty from ashes!! I love how the Lord works and turns out darkness into light.
To underscore what you were saying, the Lord recently showed me that when he talks to Jacob (Isaiah is my favorite book of the Bible) he is talking to his individual son or daughter, and when he addresses Israel, he is talking to his people. In our case, the collective Body of Christ.
Jests reflects this passage in Luke l0:20 — our joy is in being HIS! (That is what I just wrote on my hand today: HIS!)
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You amaze me, and then I realize it truly is the Holy Spirit speaking through you…it’s because of your authentic, one-on-one relationship with God. Not that age matters really, but I am 60 years old & totally astounded by what you say, how it ministers to me, and resonates with me. It blows my mind sometimes. God uses you more than you can possibly know! I also had similar issues in my life…I am so glad you openly talk about them as I kept them secret. I pray you will truly be able see the incredibly whole and complete person you are with God’s love & direction in your life. I really had to chuckle because you said you hadn’t been reading the Bible & then the Holy Spirit gave you this beautiful insight. Adele
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